‘Regretting You’ movie review: Beautifully vacant adaptation of Colleen Hoover

Unlike the homes and characters in Task, worn out by life’s incessant googlies, all the shiny folk in Regretting You live in fabulous homes. Based on Colleen Hoover’s 2019 novel, Josh Boone’s (The Fault in Our Stars) Regretting You is eye candy of the highest order, with a distinct Sooraj Barjatya aesthetic. Beautiful and shallow, the film opens at a beach party with a teenage Morgan (Allison Williams) telling Jonah (Dave Franco), that she is pregnant. Jonah is dating Morgan’s free-thinking sister, Jenny (Willa Fitzgerald), while Morgan is dating Chris (Scott Eastwood). 

Fast forward 17 years, and the foursome are celebrating Morgan’s birthday. Morgan and Chris are married and their daughter, Clara (Mckenna Grace), adores her father and her aunt Jenny — her mom, not so much. Jonah dropped out of sight for many years but is now back with Jenny and they have a baby. A terrible accident leads Clara, Jonah, and Morgan to face uncomfortable truths. 

Clara wants to be an actor and has a soft spot for the local bad boy, Miller (Mason Thames), who wants to make movies, much to Morgan’s horror. There is a bland predictability to the movie, with none of the emotional beats hitting home. Clichés, from terminal illness, gruff grandpa, movie posters (China Town and The Two Jakes) movie jokes (”Tom Cruise saves the world by running”) and snarky friend, Lexie (Sam Morelos) to the nerdy friend, Efren (Ethan Costanilla), jostle for space.   

After Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively’sturn in It Ends with Us, there is another alum from a teen show— this time Girls’ Allison Williams, in a Colleen Hoover adaptation. The cast floats by on glossy filters while social media gets a fleeting mention. For a film dealing with death, love, betrayal, lies, parenting and grief, Regretting You manages to drift by without leaving a mark. The baby is very sweet, but even that arc is not concluded properly.  

Also, what do these people do for a living? Though Jenny talks of going back to work after maternity leave, everyone just seems to be hanging about in comfy clothes on beyond-cosy couches eating and drinking beautiful food, smoothies and wine. Even the fridges and kitchen counters are filled with colour-coordinated bottles of elegant food! A family song, proclaiming ‘Hum Saath-Saath Hain’, would have tied it all together nicely. If you are in the mood to pamper yourself with gorgeous visuals and a great looking cast, Regretting You could be the ticket. Do not, however, look to be moved, or get the answer to life, the universe and everything (that is 42).  

Regretting You is currently running in theatres