Louis Tomlinson Says He Will 'Never Really Accept' Liam Payne's Death

Louis Tomlinson is reflecting on the first anniversary of his One Direction bandmate Liam Payne’s death.

“[Liam’s death] is something I’ll never really accept. I don’t think,” Tomlinson, 33, admitted in an interview with The Independent published on Saturday, October 18.

The “Just Hold On” singer has faced tragedy throughout his life, as his mother, Johannah Deakin, succumbed to leukemia at age 43 in 2016 and his sister Felicite died at age 18 in 2019. Then, in October 2024, Payne died from injuries sustained when he fell from a hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

“I naively thought that, at this point, I’d unfortunately be a little bit more well versed with grief than other people my age,” Tomlinson admitted. “I thought that might mean something, but it didn’t at all.”

He acknowledged that Payne was “definitely” the de facto leader of the band when they were formed on The X Factor in the U.K. in 2010. (One Direction consisted of Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, Payne and Tomlinson.) According to Tomlinson, a leadership role was thrust on Payne since he had much more performing experience than the other members of the band.

“It was definitely a role that was assigned to him,” Tomlinson said. “That is the truth. … He’d already played at half time [major soccer games], we’d done s****y school shows.”

Tomlinson reflected on sharing “so many” great times with his bandmate prior to his untimely death, going on to point out that Payne was always the first to support other One Direction members’ side or solo projects.

Payne’s November 2024 funeral in Amersham, England, was the first time all of the surviving members of One Direction reunited since Malik, 32, left the band in March 2015. Tomlinson confirmed that their friend’s death “definitely” brought him closer to the other 1D members, though he admitted they’ve had trouble scheduling any further meet-ups.

“The best kind of friends are the ones where, when you eventually do meet up, it’s like no time has passed,” he said. “It’s also just amazing to see everyone doing so well in their own right.”

Tomlinson will be spending more time with Malik soon, since they have signed up to star in a three-part Netflix documentary that sees them travel the U.S. as they reflect on fatherhood and Payne’s death. (Tomlinson shares a son, Freddie Reign, with former partner Briana Jungwirth while Payne and ex-girlfriend Gigi Hadid share daughter Khai.)

Unfortunately, Tomlinson recently revealed on the “Diary of a CEO” podcast that Payne’s death put a stop to any serious discussions of a One Direction reunion tour for the time being.

“Never say never, right, but I’m just not sure it would be right to [Liam],” he explained. “Say for the sake of argument, 25 year’s time, it’s like a f***ing Oasis thing, [and] they offer us an arm and a leg, and they’re like, ‘Come back and do this many shows.’ I don’t know.”

He added, “[Liam’s death] just completely put a pin in all of that. The irony is there was no one campaigning for One Direction to get back more than Liam. I would say I came in a close second.”

Us Weekly exclusively reported that a group of One Direction fans held a vigil for Payne in Buenos Aires on the first anniversary of his death on October 16. Fans placed flowers, signs and candles at a makeshift shrine at the hotel where Payne died and shared their favorite memories of the group.